Happy New Year everyone! Sorry to have been MIA over the past few weeks. I sentenced myself to some really great down time since Christmas…practically total sensory and technology deprivation. But now it’s time to get back to work and back to reality. Life awaits…
We’ve entered a new year and while I’m sure we all have made (or already broken) our new year’s resolutions…have you thought about making a relationship resolution? Yes, it’s nice to think about losing weight, getting out of debt, spending more time with friends or family and planning more “me” time…but what about your love life.
What do you want to happen in your love life during 2012? Do you have a goal? Could you set one? Or, is there something you want to work on and improve about your self?
1. Stop overanalyzing. This means not rereading a text message 12 times and wondering if you should reply now, in five minutes, or in two hours. Stop wondering what he’s doing every minute you are apart. Stop reading so deeply into everything he says. Practice a little trust and belief that your partner has good intentions. All that anxious energy could be better spent doing something else…like mastering a new yoga pose or spending more time with your friends.
2. Quit the toxic guys. Bad boys may be intriguing (and usually hot), but do you really want to waste your time on an unemployed man-boy with commitment issues? Pump up your personal standards with a new list of “must have’s,” non-negotiables and dumpable offenses and stick to them this year!
3. Stop Passing Like Ships In The Night. Busy schedules making your honey feel more like a roommate? Knock it off and start making your relationship a priority. If you have to schedule time for your relationship – do it! Book romantic dinner dates for the next 6 weeks. Or assign one night each week for no TV watching just hanging out together. Find new ways to stay connected in the new year.
4. Don’t Over Share Via Social Media. It sure is fun to tweet your every move and check-in with your every location, but what ever happened to women keeping their mystery. Make 2012 the year we girls got our mystery back by holding back on electronically vomiting your every thought and location. Be different than all the other girls…it’s intriguing to men.
5. Think positive. Nothing is more attractive than a person with a positive attitude and optimistic outlook on life. If you’re already in a relationship, focus on what is going well between you, and do more of the same in order to boost your happiness. If you’re single looking to meet new people, let your good vibes shine through in your smile. People will see joy all over you and want to get to know you.
6. Break Out of Your Routine. If the only way someone is going to get your number is if you accidently hit them with your car, it’s time to break up your routine and try some new things. Maybe a new route home from work. Try a new gym. Start treating yourself to dinner at the bar of your favorite restaurant by yourself. Join a new Meet-Up group. Sign up for a new dating site. Stop hiding in your home waiting for Mr. Right to ring the doorbell…get out there.
7. Forget that other girl friend who may or may not be into him. There’s no use obsessing about other women. Unless she pops up on his speed dial or starts taking over your date nights, you have nothing to worry about. Make 2012 the year of the confident you. Instead of being jealous and turning into Nancy Drew, use that mental energy on something else — like booking your next manicure appointment or what book you’re going to start this weekend. Know that you’ll surely land on your feet if he turns out to be a heel…and a great new guy is always right around the corner so there’s absolultey no need to suffer any fools.
8. Banish this question from your brain: Where is this going? You may have your love life scheduled like your overachieving career (sex on the third date, flowers after one month, those three small words after four), but you can’t map out a relationship. Let a relationship take a natural course and soothe your anxieties with exercise or time with friends. Cut him some slack when he doesn’t propose by date 10.
9. Let Go Of Past Hurts. Don’t drag past heartbreaks into the new year. Don’t bring any baggage into 2012 with you. If your heart was broken over the holidays, give yourself 2 weeks to get over it and move on. It may be easier said than done, but a new year signals new beginnings and a time to love and forgive your self and start fresh. Reflect on love lost, but don’t harp on what you could have done differently or what was done to you. Take the lesson and trust that love will find you again.
10. Communicate Better. If one or both of you is prone to nagging or making assumptions rather than openly discussing what’s on your mind, it’s time to make mature communication a top priority for this year. If you have something to say, say it. No one can read your mind. Just be clear and straightforward. That said, that does not give you permission to be rude, accuse or call names. This year try to communicate in a way that makes things easier on your partner.
So, I want to hear from you now….what’s your relationship resolution? Share and discuss them here to make your plan for relationship success in 2012?
Photo credit: Krikit ♥’s Flickr photostream